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Breaking News: Twitter announces it may have discovered a conservative on its platform

This is a breaking news story and we will update this page as events unfold.
by on 9th May 2018 | Leave a comment

Everything in the post below is satire. In other words, it's not real.

Woman shocked after discovering a conservative voter

Twitter has announced it may have discovered a conservative on its platform.

The shocking discovery occurred after a tweet expressing disagreement with another person’s opinion was unearthed late last night. An official Twitter spokesperson has confirmed the tweet came from the alleged conservative.

Upon discovering the alleged conservative, it immediately sent an email to its 330 million users reassuring them that the problem is being dealt with and all measures have been put in place to protect them from his incorrect viewpoints.

“It’s difficult to believe a conservative voter exists in this day and age, however he was quite sly with his tweets and managed to fly under the radar by behaving like a normal human being,” said an official Twitter spokesperson.

“We want to reassure all users that we take this situation incredibly seriously and will do everything in our power to safeguard their wellbeing”.

It’s not the first time Twitter has suspected conservatives are infiltrating its platform.

In 2016, the platform was put on lockdown for 36 minutes after a user tweeted the word “Trump”.

After an extensive analysis of the user’s tweets he was eventually cleared of any wrongdoing and his tweeting privileges were restored with immediate effect.

“We don’t always get things right, and in that case we made a mistake,” said the official Twitter spokesperson.

“It’s important that users are cautious when tweeting. We understand that words are used contextually, however some users can get a little excited from time-to-time and tweet inappropriate words that can potentially have a detrimental effect on our users’ health”.

In response to the allegation, the offending user stated, “I wasn’t aware of the rules surrounding utilizing that word. It makes sense now that I know and I will be more careful in future”.

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